Jenna’s Insomnia

mirror, mirror on the wall…who’s the _____ of them all?

Certain events in my life have left me wondering whether other Christians have the same inadequacies that I possess. I use that word a lot – inadequacy. Many things have led me to use this term in reference to myself, although, as a Christ-follower, there is no place for it in my vocabulary. Yet, I often ask myself if others analyze their inadequacy as much as I do mine. Do others wonder if they have done enough for their friends, family, and community as much as they are supposed to? Do others compare themselves to the great Christian names of the time? Do others ponder the reasons for rejection from the opposite sex? Do others constantly analyze their actions, hoping that they have been a “good Christian”? Do others struggle with not being enough for everyone? Do others fight the feeling that they must please everyone? Do others question whether people like them or respect them? Do others…yes they do. I am not the only one who clings to comparisons like a flimsy raft in the Artic Ocean, terrified of drowning, knowing that it is inevitable.

What stability is there when establishing your self-worth on the accomplishments and greatness of others and the lack of the same in your life? How do these people do these great things? How do they become the things we compare ourselves to? I bet they do not compare themselves to others…I lose the bet. A race is not so much about competition with each other; rather, it is a test of one’s ability to endure and strive for a goal, to work for a purpose, to live. When did I stop running the race, looking around to see my position among fellow believers? How do I refocus the lens of my gaze when I’ve forgotten how to work the camera? Do I dare hope to live without questioning the abilities, talents, opprotunities, ministries, and peace Christ has granted me?

I am studying for exams. I silently chant “This does not determine my salvation…this does not determine my salvation…this does not determine my salvation.” Whether I can sing a french art song, remember the basics of Hinduism, understand wisdom literature, translate Spanish vocabulary, or write a paper on Philipp Melanchthon, I am still guaranteed Christ’s love. Yet, why is it I balance precariously on the edge of emotional stability, so often tasting the salt of my tears? Am I weak? Am I unstable? Am I past help? Or…am I just human? Human with the gift of unconditional love and the promise of existence in the presence of an Eternal Father. Human with the capability to share. Human with the opportunity to break and be rebuilt by firm and gentle hands. Human with a divinely given purpose.

Psalm 51.17 Colossians 1.19-20 1 John 4.16 Psalm 119.165

in Christ,

Jenna Mitchell
Joshua 1:9

1 samuel 16.7

I see a girl, and I label her “loose.” She searches for attention, bad or good, from every man she meets. She wears clothes that leave no doubt to what’s underneath. I want to yell at her and tell her to put some clothes on. I don’t want to see all of her skin. She has seductive smiles for everyone, causing men to stumble in their paths. She disgusts me, and I condemn her in my mind. She doesn’t belong in a church or on a Christian campus. I wish God would reveal to her how much she’s sinning.

The Father sees a girl who is drowning. He sees the tears that patter on her notebooks in the seclusion of her room. He sees a little child who is searching for love from a kind heart. She is lost and yearns to feel beautiful. He sees a life that has been trampled by authority figures. God weeps at the fact that her father abused her and tore at her heart for so long. He reaches out to take her hand and draw her in. He looks at me and yells “Why are you not loving her!?”

keep the change

the mud is too deep
the mire is clinging
how can i keep my head up
when tears flood my pillow

but it doesn’t change You
You’re still the Risen Lamb of God
no it doesn’t change You
’cause You still died on a tree
crucified just for me
and it doesn’t change You

confusion plagues me
fear is my constant companion
my heart feels so empty
the pain blurs my vision

but it doesn’t change You
You’re still the Risen Lamb of God
no it doesn’t change You
’cause You still died on a tree
crucified just for me
and it doesn’t change You

peace and love to all

peace be with you?

The Sawi people were completely shut off from the world, primitive in their environment and customs. The main aspect of their lives revolved around violence and the ability to deceive. These people were spread all over remote parts of New Guinea and were made up of several different tribes with different languages and a dislike for each other. Similar to the way we remember people for their brave acts of heroism or stunning displays of power, wealth, or intellect, legendary heroes for these people groups were born from treachery. You were not remembered for your courage in battle or the number of animals you had slain, but how treacherous you could be. They called it “fattening with friendship for the slaughter.” They would befriend someone, and, after gaining their trust, they would kill the person and eat them. A missionary named Don Richardson wrote a book about his time amidst these cannabilistic tribes called Peace Child. At one point, he writes about the point when he was ready to leave the home he had built and three tribes his presence had brought together because they could not get along. There was hatred and strife and violence between the tribes, and Don believed that he was the cause of it all. Yet, when he told the leaders of the tribes that he was going to leave and the reason for leaving, they promised they would be at peave with one another. THis came at a huge price, though. To truly be at peace with another tribe without having to worry about their love for treachery, a tribe had to invoke the tradition of a “Peace Child.” A prominent man of the tribe would offer one of his sons to a man of similar status in the other tribe to raise as his own and vice versa. As long as the child stayed alive, there was peace. Unable to make these people understand the necessity for Jesus Christ for a long time, Don realized that God had given him this tradition to use as a bridge between cultures. He was able to tell them about the divine ‘Peace Child’ given for all men to have peace with each other. He explained that this Child defeated death and would never die, therefore, never ending the peace between people and nations. This same Peace Child also offered inner peace through a relationship with the Father. A peace that surpasses all understanding, that triumphs over failures, shortcomings, hurt, betrayal, pain, confusion, unrest, and the devil. This peace provides the knowledge of absolute victory over evil and the promise of eternity with God. What can stand in the way of a peace like that? (Colossians 3.14-15, John 16.33, John 14.27, Romans 12.18, Matthew 5.9)

Do not take it lightly when I say “peace be with you” for I truly mean it. May God grant you peace with others, friends and enemies, and peace with yourself.

much love in Christ,

jenna

abideth

Not a brief glance I beg, a passing word;
But as Thou dwell’st with Thy disciples, Lord,
Familiar, condescending, patient, free.
Come not to sojourn, but abide with me.

This is the third stanza of the hymn “Abide With Me” written by Henry Lyte in the 1840s three weeks before he passed away. This was played alongside his farewell sermon when he knew he was dying from tuberculosis. I love this whole song, and I definitely recommend looking up all of the words and meditating over them. The main scripture that is the basis for this hymn is Luke 24:29 in which two of Jesus’ followers are walking with him toward Emmaus. It says “God kept them from recognizing him” (verse 16), and they have just finished telling Jesus about their leader who died three days ago and how his body was now missing. Then, they neared Emmaus, and Jesus seemed to be going on, and they asked him to spend the night with them. What a great choice (!) because he stayed with them, blessed bread, and broke the bread. When he did this, “their eyes were opened” (verse 31) and they knew him! From this story, I’ve seen that it took spending quality time with Jesus in order to “recognize” him.

After a crazy school year, I finally have the abundance of time that I so desperately yearned for since August. Yet, on some days, I found myself giving only brief glances at God’s Word and my relationship with Him. As if I was doing a quick check on our relationship, then walking away thinking, “Yep, we’re still good, God.” What the heck!? Reading over the stanze above reminded me that, as Christians, we ask for Jesus to abide with us, remaining close at hand. This comes from our love for him and our yearning to be near to the One we love. I do not want to have a long distance relationship with Christ, but I want him to be as familiar with me as he was with his disciples. Unfortunately, as I often tend to do, I have been singing this song for quite some time without letting the Spirit wrap them in an arrow aimed straight for my heart. What powerful words to sing without understanding the meaning and the biblical basis for the entire song. Ask Christ to abide with you this summer. He can be a friend during the happy moments and an embrace during the struggles. Also, he kicks butt in the temptation arena (see Matthew 4 for more details). Another stanza of this hymn says “What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?” How freaking true is that!? Go spend some time with God. No awkward silences, arguments, break-ups, hurt feelings, divorce, abuse…what have you got to lose? Have a wonderful summer! I will do better about sending these messages this week.

in Christ,

jenna

dibs on our love…

Revelation 2.1-7 (you should probably read this passage before you continue reading this message) is a letter written to the Church in Ephesus. Actually it is written to the angel of the church (at the time, they believed that a group/community of believers was assigned an angel to be their heavenly counterpart, and the angel was held responsible for the doings, whether good or bad, of their particular community). The time this is written is debatable, but to be safe, lets say somewhere between mid-first century to early-second century (I’m not trying to start a debate). Ephesus was a huge city and one of their main sources of wealth came from the manufacturing of silver shrines of the Greek goddess Artemis. They were known as the “official gardian” of the temple devoted solely to this goddess. In a city where there was so much emphasis on an idol, the Ephesus church did well to grow and multiply despite their location. It says in verse two that they worked hard and endured patiently. They even listened to Paul when he told them that wolf-like false teachers would rise up among their church. The church leaders remembered this warning and examined closely all who claimed to be apostles of Christ. They discovered the liars, and kept the church pure. Yet, after all of these commendations that the author of Revelation doles out, he says that he has a complaint against them. He accuses them of forgetting their “First Love”. What does that mean? Is he talking about their first girlfriend/boyfriend…not quite.

In the beginning of the founding of the church, the people were so on fire for Christ and loved Him so much that they were willing to establish a church amongst a huge city devoted to a Greek goddess. It would be like us going to a huge city devoted to the gods of another religion and trying to start a church next to their biggest temple there. No wonder the author calls them patient and enduring! Also, it’s not as if he is implying that their hard work and perseverance have been nothing, but he’s accusing them of acting out of duty or responsibility. If we threw away all of our notions of “our duties as Christians” or “the believer’s responsibilities,” and realize that we act out of love, maybe we would stop trying to “do Christian things.” Wouldn’t it be awesome if we lived because we love God so much that we couldn’t comprehend a life without Him. Yes, we follow and adhere to the Bible, but that doesn’t mean we are given a checklist. It simply means that we obey, since obeying is the way in which we show our love for God (Philippians 2.8; 1 John 2.5).

The author of Revelation is instructed to write in this letter to Ephesus that if they don’t repent for forsaking the way in which they first loved God and each other, then [God] will remove the lampstand from Ephesus. The lampstand represents the group’s standing as a church of God. If this great and holy symbol was removed, it would be like God removing His parental claims on the individuals of that church. Can you imagine!? That little statement right there would definitely scare the heck out of me!

Although this letter is not specifically written to you or to me, it is safe to apply the message to our lives as the church body. What is the main love in your life right now? Is it money, another person, academics, pleasure, your mind, yourself? Or is it your First Love, who first loved you? Reflect on the things/people you obey, spend time and money on, and think of the most. Who/what do you love?

in Him,

Jenna Mitchell
Joshua 1:9

judge not?

how dare they!
who are they to judge me
the Bible says do not judge
not exactly sure where it is
but i know it says just that!
so why do they think
they can just come to me
and tell me that i am
living in sin; what kind of
Christian is that?

it is not their job to
tell me when i am doing
something wrong.
i know i haven’t tested negative
for drugs in months,
i’m sure they’ve struggled
with the same stuff;
and yes i know i’m having
sex with my boyfriend,
but this is the 21st century
and that view is so old!

so who cares if i put others
down all the time, like they
don’t deserve it; i’m sure
those Christians do it too
yea, and i don’t go to church,
it’s not my thing, everyone is
always so judgmental and
hypocritical, it makes me sick.
i don’t even think most of
those people sitting in their
pews are even Christians.

they are constantly going
to church, then drinking with
friends and cursing up storms;
and they think that they’re
giving ten percent…ha! they
aren’t giving five percent!
then they try to tell me that
they’ve asked for forgiveness,
like God can forgive those
kind of sins; i doubt it.

so, again i ask, who are
they to tell me that i’m
living in sin, that i’m not
being a good example of
a Christian; they can’t point
out my faults…what was
that verse about a log in
someone’s eye? well i’m
sure it just proves my point

they say i’m not a Christian,
well you don’t see me judging
them, now do you? of course
not! i don’t tell them what
they’re doing wrong!
i’m not being judgmental,
so that must make the only
Christian out of the whole
bunch of us! they’re just a
whole bunch of hypocrites!

Hopefully, this is not you. Hopefully, you see what’s wrong with this picture. Hopefully, you’re not thinking that I’m just another person trying to judge you. I can only hope.

in Christ,

Jenna Mitchell
Joshua 1:9

truth or dare…both

I have never risked my life for the Gospel. I cannot say that I have been placed in jail or physically punished for loving God and proclaiming the salvation brought by Jesus. For most of us, when someone does something that causes a general outcry amongst the people, most likely that person will not repeat the act for fear of society’s response. This meek and submissive role cannot be incorporated into our witnessing. Although submission is a relatively good quality, we are not called to share the Gospel, then back down when we are not immediately encouraged. We claim we have no fear. Men strive to be seen as brave and tough (although here at Anderson University, the size of your beard determines your ranking on the man-scale). Most men do not introduce themselves by listing their weaknesses. Quite the opposite, many will indirectly make known their many strengths within the first few minutes of introduction. Women constantly compare themselves to other women. The first meeting between females includes a “sizing up” of one another, possibly more so than between guys. What kind of existence is this? This shield of gallantry and daring, hiding the weak and society-controlled soul underneath, can be seen everywhere, especially amongst Christians.

Raised in an environment where the popular and successful are the heroes, it is hard to swallow a pill the size of Acts 5:17-42. In this passage, the apostles are arrested by the Sadducees, the high priest and officials, and wait behind bars for their trial. An angel comes and opens the gate of the jail! He tells them to speak to the people. Ummm…hello? That is why they were arrested and awaiting trial in the first place. Why would these guys want to risk getting caught again? Surely there was another, more subtle way of spreading the Gospel. How many times have we settled for the comfortable path in order to “obey” the well known commission? Want to see men of God? Continue reading verse 21 where they go to the Temple at daybreak and “immediately began teaching.” What the heck!? Guess what!? Yeah, good guess…they are arrested yet again! If you keep reading, you see that they are not killed, but flogged and told to be silent among the people. The real kicker? Read verses 41 and42…they left rejoicing for their suffering in Jesus’ name! They kept preaching and teaching every day in the Temple and in houses! Oh to be filled with the Spirit in such a way that persecution from society, physical harm, even death have no hold on me. I pray that I can be like the apostles risking reputation, condemnation, death for the message of the Messiah. True courage cannot be found in dusty pews ingrained with complacency. This radical bravery is not sprinkled through fancy sound systems and colorful lights. This holy audacity can only be found in a people so concerned with the furthering of God’s kingdom that no obstacle will dare to stand in their way. Can we be that people? Even on this campus, at the office, in our homes, in the buildings labeled “church”, on the mission field, in the schools, in the bars, on the oceans, in valleys, on mountaintops, wherever the breath of the Lord can reach let us be that people.

much love in Christ,

jenna mitchell
Joshua 1:9

peek-a-boo Jesus

It seems that we often go through life with our hands over our eyes. We refuse to let our eyes look to God. When we do feel particularly religious on a certain day…we remove our hands for a brief second, say “Peek-a-boo” to Jesus, and then place our hands back over our eyes. Who knew we would carry that silly childhood game with us through life. There is evidence of God all around us. As you might have heard, a group of us from Anderson University went to Naples, Italy on a short-term mission trip. Let me take a moment to compliment God on His creation! The city was absolutely gorgeous! The people were beautiful (I’m trying not to be jealous). The entire trip was full of little glimpses of God and His beauty. Unfortunately, I did see a city full of lost people looking to worldy things for pleasure and fulfillment. In a place so rich with history and culture, the churchs seemed cold and empty. They were stunning with the architecture and art, but still devoid of emotion and passion somehow. I think many people in Napoli have been covering their eyes for a long time. It made me appreciate the people we did meet who were filled with the love and passion of Christ. What wonderful people. They were a bright light in a dark place! I know all of the billboards tell you to “Remember the reason for the season!”, but I want to stress how important it is to focus on the meaning behind this month-long break (for us students) and week-long break (for hard-working adults haha). Jesus came for us…not to come to earth, hang out for a few years, die, then chill out in Heaven. He came FOR you and FOR me. Lets stop playing peek-a-boo and lift our hands up to the sky! Remove the veil from your eyes! Let me tell you…the sight is glorious! Have a wonderful and safe New Year!

much love in Christ,

Jenna Mitchell
Joshua 1:9

faithful human betrayal

I am constantly placing my trust in other people and getting disappointed. Sometimes I forget that others are just like me, and, therefore, prone to messing up a lot and breaking the trust of others. When I was younger and still bitter over my dad’s fine ability to leave my mom, my brother, and I and go start a cozy little family in tennessee, I would wrongfully put too much faith in others, especially guys. I think I was hoping that guys wouldn’t be like my dad and constantly disappoint me…yet, whenever I put too much stock in others’ faithfulness to me, I was betrayed over and over again. I still struggle with wanting to believe that some of my friends are perfect and so should not mess up…what the heck!? How unfair of me! Even back then, I should have known that I was not going to find God’s perfect faithfulness in those people (especially the guys! lol jk gentlemen!). I should’ve known from reading God’s word that humans make mistakes and cannot guarantee one another that they will be faithful and trusting all of the time. Look at Moses when he disobeyed God and struck the rock. Remember David when he committed adultery and murder concerning Bathsheeba. Don’t forget Peter when he denied knowing Jesus three consecutive times while Jesus was being tried and condemned for his holy role as the King. No person can promise perfect faithfulness; that is for God alone. In Romans 5:1-2 it says ” True, some [Jews} were unfaithful, but just because they were unfaithful, does that mean God will be unfaithful? Of course not! Even if everyone is a liar, God is true.” Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” Psalm 56:4 says “I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?” God doesn’t share your complete trust wiith anyone else. It isn’t “trust in Me and your best friends”; He says to trust in Him and His promises, nothing else. Although being able to trust others is good, and we should strive to be trustworthy in the eyes of our brothers and sisters, it is wrong to put our complete trust in sinful human thoughts and actions. You are not wrong if you are hurt by someone’s betrayal, but know that God is always faithful and never disappoints!

much love in Him,

Jenna Mitchell
Joshua 1:9